Afraid

I’m at the cliff’s edge,

Wondering if I will fall or learn to fly; if I will crash and what will I break this time.

Is not the first time I jump, it will not be the last.

But right here, right now, this jump is different, every jump is.

The buts and ifs, the hesitation, the pacing around the edge for weeks, months, visiting it every day at least once until I inevitably take the plunge, cause I always do.

I’m a risk taker, I’ve always been.

I used to jump without a parachute, without a back up plan, then I learned or so you’ll think.

I made plans, back-ups, escape routes, then I forgot to use them and smashed myself into pieces each time.

So I stopped doing that too, now I jump bare again.

Whatever will be, will be.